Thinking Hard

Well, recently I have been doing the whole food storage thing, as you can tell from the previous post and my mind has turned to having a will and life insurance. Big things in my mind. These are things I never really thought about so Austin and I talked about it and maybe we will put some of our ideas into action. I don't know. It's so weird sometimes to think, "why didn't I ask my mom about this years ago?" duh.

Anyways, well.. I have been looking at baby clothes at Shopko. I tell Austin if I can't have another baby right now then I can at least do as much as I can for Torish and Lena and Wendy and Dathan and Brenik and Sara-Lynn. Wow. Lots of babies! And I am patiently waiting for Torish and Lena to call us and tell us what they are having so I can purchase all the right things! : ) lol I love shopping for babies!!

Austin has been working a lot lately too. He worked Saturday night from 7 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. is that crazy or what? Sometimes I just want to shake his bosses because they care nothing about who Austin is or what he has to go through. They do nothing but criticise him and get mad when something is wrong. AGH! Oh well. Austin is so good at letting everything just roll off his back. He says it's because he's one of the babies in is family. Sometimes I wish I were that way. But, alas, I was born the oldest and I just can't let some things go. Austin will have to carry me to the Celestial Kingdom.

The kids are doing good. Tevin is still loving preschool, but now we are dealing with whining! I can not stand it! I make him go to his room because if he didn't, I wouldn't have a son. He's really not that bad. Tonight was rough, so my vision is currently tainted. He's a very good boy. Zoya is good too, although she mimicks her brother A LOT! Mostly the things I don't want her to. lol She loves animals and names them and says their noises every chance she can. I do love my children and I still want more. I must be crazy.

Sometimes I think just how wonderful my role is. My friend from high school just had her first baby and I posted a comment on her Facebook and I said, "How does it feel to fulfill your divine destiny?" and it was a good reminder to me to love my children, because that is my role here on earth. I forget sometimes. The Lord does such a great job at reminding me. I don't like being chastened, but in the scriptures it says whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth. He must love me a lot some times. lol I hope that my children know, if nothing else, that Heavenly Father loves them and that nothing will make them happier than doing the Lord's will. There's a lot of false happiness and shallow happiness, but the Lord wants us to find JOY. I feel joy is much fuller than happiness and brings such a celestial feeling with it.

I gave a talk a couple weeks ago on eternal progression and it was awesome! I love telling people about the gospel. Trying to get them excited! To tell them that Heavenly Father once lived on an earth like ours, and that he succeeded in attaining celestial glory. Becoming like HIS father. How amazing! My whole heart just bursts with joy as I think about it. I love the times I feel like this. It reminds me of being in the temple. I guess that is good, when you can recreate the same spirit within your own world. Ah...I love the times when I feel like I could really enjoy reading the scriptures right now. I could use more times like this in my life.